Planning Your Adult Birthday
If you are someone who struggles with birthday planning, or has been stressed to tears in the process this post is for you. My birthday is always the one day I look forward to the most every year. This year everything got turned around and many tears were shed in the process.
I was initially planning to visit a new country in South America and had the main details mapped out. Then I had to make some major living changes and it completely crushed my birthday plans. I knew this decision would be better for me in the long run but I was still very sad that I couldn’t do the trip I planned. After that, I avoided all birthday conversations because I was so sad that I couldn’t do what I initially wanted. As time crept closer I went through a wave of emotions because the picture I painted in my brain would not happen.
There were moments where I thought of skipping the day all together but felt like that would be even worse. About 3 weeks before my birthday, I decided I would have one event with a few of my girl friends in Phoenix the weekend before my birthday. This would allow for an opportunity to do something fun with everyone, wear a cute fit and celebrate with friends. Several restaurants that I tried to book had no reservations available, new places had awful reviews and no matter how hard I looked there were no “lit” brunches that also had good food and reservations available. Its very easy to feel like the cards are stacked against you when several things don’t go as planned but there is value in pivoting. As a foodie, quality & reliable food is always first on my list so I went with that and finally chose “The Genuine” in Arcadia. Instead of commiserating over an outfit I chose a dress that had been in my closet for a year with the tags still on it. I bought new earrings from a black owned business (Asha Mae) and it worked out perfectly.
Its easy put unnecessary pressure on ourselves to have a new outfit for this event, or having the most extravagant event to celebrate your birthday. I have seen this mostly with women who see others on social media and feel like they need to live up to that standard. There is nothing wrong with having the most extravagant birthday but you can also take a year off of that train and do something a little more initimate. There are so many ways to celebrate your life that if the first idea can’t come to life I’m sure there are others.
For the weekend of my actual birthday there was much thought about what I really expected to gain from the trip to a new country. There was the beach, the ability to walk around and explore a new place, try different foods and give myself an opportunity to unplug from all my regular responsibilities. Keeping all those requirements in mind I decided on a road trip to San Diego. I have only been there twice before and always wanted to explore more. Everything I wanted to do would be there and though I couldn’t swim at the beach I could visit one to watch the sunset and listen to the waves.
San Diego ended up being the perfect way to celebrate my birthday. I ate delicious food, visited new historical places, and got to explore a new city on my own terms. While the international trip would have been amazing, this trip was reasonable and still fun. If you are that person who loves to do something extravagant, or the person who has no idea what you want to do I recommend asking yourself the following questions or using them as journal prompts.
Where am I most happy?
What am I doing when I am most happy?
What is close to me? Pull up google maps and zoom out! I like this because your next adventure could literally be a few hours drive from you.
Do you have hotel points stashed? Are there affordable bnbs available in this location?
Are there free activities that meet your requirements? I recommend checking Tik Tok for this, there is a ton of content over there about low budget trips.
How do you want to feel when you return from that experience?
